I suppose the 1st concept of God was "given" to me by my family and the Catholic religion of my childhood. This was mostly "the Old White Guy, with the long, grey beard." It had lots of anthropomorphic features, good and bad!
Then as I reached college, alcohol, marijuana, disco, and science, I had an epiphany, that there is a huge, infinite universe, up there. This occurred around the age of 18-19 when I was visiting the local planetarium to view the planets, stars, and other celestial bodies, on a weekly basis. The Universe became full of wonder, awe, and mystery. And so did God. But I also placed God further away, and marginalized Him in my life. Science, and Medicine took over as my worldview! Still, I believed there was a God, a Creator, Father, but not much involved down here. He was far, far up there, in a distant place, and distant time (both past and future, but strangely enough, not here & now). This worked as I dedicated my life and attention to the practice of Medicine, and healing. But then, I don't recall exactly how and when, but around the time I was 35 years old, I had another epiphany. I wondered how far down, that is, how small, "space - material reality" went?! I think this occurred as the string theory of quantum physics, as an explanation for the unifying theory of everything (at least of the material world) was being introduced to the lay public. I wondered how small "space" could get. I did this with the thought experiment dividing a stick in half, then in half again, and again, and so on. I was taught early on, in math class, that this could keep going, but there was never a lowest limit, or end to this. But then I realized this could keep going on and on, infinitely, so eventually this would lead "out of this universe" into that place before space, similar to that time before the Big Bang?! This is where God must be! Now I had God "way, way up there", and "way, way down there." And this worked well, God all around, but oddly enough not here?! Over the last few years, it came to me, how strange it is that God is everywhere but here, in me and my immediate vicinity?! So, at great risk, and with fear, but with humility, and courage, I went "inside" of me...and found that God is "in here." This was suggested by others, but mostly this came from somewhere, someone, in me, but not the usual me that I thought ran my life. So now there is God Transcendent, God Immanent, and God as All of Creation, and God beyond All of Creation! That is God is inside of me, outside of me, up there, down there, and hence every where, outside of everywhere, and places that I can't even imagine!! (this is similar to the Christian Trinity, God transcendent = Father, God Immanent/incarnate = Jesus Christ, God 'everywhere" = Holy Spirit). So now I don't wonder where, or when God is. I don't look for Him, or call on Him.... God is everywhere, because God is in my mind.
- gus's blog
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